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janeiro 26, 2006

* No Solar da Rosa

O SOLAR DA ROSA

Nesta tasquinha bizarra
de ambiente bem sadio
ao doce som da guitarra
canta-se o fado vadio

rosa.bmp

Apresentador: Ora muito boa noite minhas senhoras, meus senhores, respeitável público. Sejam muito bem vindos ao Solar da Rosa. Esta noite vamos ter para começar, um artista do fado choradinho que está a ser um tremendo sucesso de vendas. Foi muito difícil à direcção desta casa trazê-lo aqui, já que nos últimos dias tem estado assoberbado quanto baste a arrumar tralhas para a mudança de estúdio, mas com a persistência e o profissionalismo que é lema desta casa, lá o conseguimos "sacar" dos seus muitos afazeres de momento...
Um do público: Ó pá, deixa-te lá de merdas e passa à acção!
Outro: Pois claro! Nunca vi um gajo tão pindérico como tu. É só flores ó meu, pareces um jardim!...
Plateia: Eh,eh,eh! boa, boa! Cala-te ó troglodita do paleolítico inferior e põe lá o homem a cantar que é para isso que a malta pagou bilhete!
Apresentador: Calma meus senhores!...
Público: Qual calma qual caraças, vai-te mas é embora e põem o homem a cantar!
Apresentador: Se assim querem... quem manda é o público, eh,eh,eh!... Senhores e senhoras, o grande, grande, grande...Aníbal Cavaco Silva!
Como sempre teremos à guitarra o Avô Almeida, à viola o tio Jerónimo, o Minorca Mendes no baixo e no baixo baixinho a Anã Droga.
( Público aplaude. Entram os guitarristas e logo a seguir o fadista Cavaco).
Cavaco: Obrigado a todos, muito obrigado. É com imenso prazer que estou aqui perante vós para interpretar um fadinho choradinho à portuguesa. Com letra desse grande amigo reencontrado, Alberto João Jardim, e música do fado que lhe deu nome: O FADO DO 31!

(aplausos) (entram as guitarras) (Cavaco canta)

Olarilolela, como o je não há ninguém
tudo quis em Portugal o Cavaquinho em Belém }Refrão
Olarilolela, como o je não há nenhum
de Monção a Boliqueime foi um rico trinta e um

À porta da sede Rosa
dois tipos encontram dois
juntam-se os quatro e depois
em cavaqueira afanosa
de pronto se azeda a prosa
Mário, Manel outro alguém
qual deles para Belém
não se entendem nem por nada
desata tudo à lambada
ó que sorte desditosa

Aiiiii!!! }refrão

Um homem que quer granel
dentro do próprio partido
deixa tudo dividido
entre o Soares e o Manel
e eu fazendo o papel
de anjinho do além
fui aterrar em Belém
lá diz o velho ditado
às vezes o mais calado
é quem vai provar o mel

Aiiiii!!!

Olarilolela, como o je não há ninguém
tudo quis em Portugal o Cavaquinho em Belém
Olarilolela, como o je não há nenhum
de Monção a Boliqueime foi um rico trinta e um

Público de pé: Ah boca linda! Ah fadista! (aplausos)
(Cavaco agradece e sai de cena)

Apresentador: Obrigado a todos, e ainda bem que gostaram. Seguidamente, e para terminar, o grupo coral "Os Derrotados da Vida", vai interpretar para vós o Requiem de Mozart, em estreia mundial com a letra da Internacional. Palmas para eles!

(público aplaude). Entra o coro, alinha e canta)

De pé ó vítimas do Aníbal
de pé quem não votou Cavaco
mas como é que foi possível
a vitória desse macaco?...

(49,4% do público presente na sala levanta-se e começa a apupar)

49,4% do público: Uhhh!!! vão-se mas é embora ó seus chouriços de Lafões! Uhhh!!! Ai agora ainda vêm para aqui com esse choradinho mete nojo? Uhhh!!!

( começam a voar garrafas, copos, cadeiras e tudo o que está à mão. Mário Soares apanha em cheio com um rissol de berbigão num olho, Manuel Alegre com uma torta de requeijão nas barbas, Francisco Louça com os restos de uma feijoada à transmontana no peito, Jerónimo de Sousa com uma cabeça de leitão made in Bairrada e Garcia Pereira com uma garrafa de Porca de Murça tinto no cocuruto. José Sócrates, sai disparado da plateia agarrado às muletas e sobe ao palco tentando acalmar os ânimos)

Sócrates: Calma meus senhores, tenham calma por favor!...

( Uma das muletas resvala em cima de um monte de gordura de comida, desiquilibra-se e cai redondo no chão. A bagunça é total. O Côro foge e entra a polícia de choque que corre tudo à chinfralhada ).
...

(Vazia a sala, o apresentador abeira-se de Sócrates que jaz sem sentidos estendido no palco e começa a dar-lhe estaladinhas na cara tentando despertá-lo.)

Apresentador: Senhor Engenheiro, ó Senhor Engenheiro, acorde por favor...

(Cavaco Silva, que ainda se encontrava no camarim aquando da desbunda, entra também)

Cavaco: Então homem, então você nesse estado vai-se armar em herói? Bem, você nos últimos dias deu dois tombos do caraças, um na Suíça e outro nas presidenciais, mas... por favor, convém não abusar, né? Eh,eh,eh!







Publicado por Zé do Telhado às janeiro 26, 2006 04:30 PM

Comentários

Gargalhadas, genial:) Sempre satirizante e certeiro:) beijos

Publicado por: wind em janeiro 26, 2006 07:13 PM

Cada vez melhor...
Obrigado pelas tuas visitas ao nosso Culturas, Eu e a Freya te agradecemos.
Como sabes este novo Culturas tende para o encontro de culturas, é um mix entre português e o espanhol da America Latina.

Uma abraço forte da minha parte e beijos da Freya

Publicado por: Guerreiro da Luz & Freyja em janeiro 26, 2006 08:47 PM

Absolutamente hilariante e sempre atingindo o alvo! Mais vale rir disto tudo. Beijos, amigo

Publicado por: lique em janeiro 26, 2006 08:53 PM

Só foram 49,4 % que se levantaram porque alguns estão a dormir sábado à noite..Devem ter feito falta noutro lado qualquer..:) Eu precisei de 123de4 posts no meu Blog para contar uma história com algumas parecenças à tua.. Capacidade de síntese, que não tenho..:) Gostei imenso!

Publicado por: 123de4 em janeiro 26, 2006 11:28 PM

Boa análise! Grande dramaturgo!

Publicado por: Inês em janeiro 27, 2006 12:46 AM

Só há uma coisa que me custa a crer: Cá para mim o Sócrates votou Cavaco, que sempre foi o seu candidato... Até porque os apoiantes de Cavaco são os mesmos que colocaram Sócrates como Secretário Geral do PS...

Publicado por: Biranta em janeiro 27, 2006 01:08 PM

Uma leitura deliciosa!!! Amanhã lá nos encontramos, terei imenso prazer em rever-te. Beijos.

Publicado por: Paula Raposo em janeiro 27, 2006 06:01 PM

Ahahahahah!!! Fenomenal!

Publicado por: Guida Alves em janeiro 27, 2006 06:04 PM

Concordo com Biranta. Nunca o conseguiremos saber mas também desconfio que Sócrates votou Cavaco. A queda foi do Soares pois nesta o 1º. Ministro saiu-se bem, porque ajudou-o a estatelar-se. Com um abraço do Raul

Publicado por: congeminações em janeiro 27, 2006 07:40 PM

...teremos um dia a representação audio e visível destas tuas malhações fadistas?...nessa expectativa desejo-te um bom fim de semana
Abraço do Morfeu

Publicado por: morfeu em janeiro 28, 2006 12:37 PM

Aprendeu bem a lição do mestre Sampaio, o Sócrates...
Aquando da deserção do José Manuel, em vez de dissolver a Assembleia e convocar novas eleições (o que daria uma vitória quase certa novamente ao PSD), preferiu deixar andar o barco matando dois coelhos de uma assentada: Santana Flopes queima-se a si próprio saindo de fininho, quedo e miúdinho da ribalta política, e queima o partido, dando assim azo a uma vitória do PS.
José Sócrates seguiu o manual à risca: deixar o avô cantigas (sim cantigas...música anda ele a dar-nos há 30 anos) arvorar-se em timoneiro da barcoita, salvador do porta-aviões. A marujada enjoada de tanto balanço bombordo-estibordo, pimba! arremata-lhe com uma votação de ir às lágrimas, para não dizer outra coisa...
Et voilá: o avôzinho fora de combate, porta-aviões à deriva. Quase no fundo...

Digam-me lá se é de mestre ou não?
Promovam-me esse homem a capitão-de-mar-em-terra (ou enterra)!

Vou para águas mais profundas...
Dive! Dive! Dive!

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