agosto 22, 2003

Conto: O Olhar de M. (6a. parte)

Depois de um perturbador contato com o objeto de sua paixão platônica, um novo encontro reserva surpresas ao nosso personagem...

O Olhar de M.

(...)

P. não aguentou e fugiu, as mãos fechadas sobre o rosto.

A velha vizinha ouviu gritos enquanto acariciava o Gato Wu-Ti. Abriu a janela para identificar de onde vinha o lamento desesperado. Tomou um espelho e uma lanterna e, num jogo de luz e sombras, começou a fazer sinais para atrair aquele espírito atormentado. P. parecia confuso, uma sombra agonizante encostada a um poste em frente ao prédio cinza daquela rua escura. Viu a luz da velha cega e, num instante, viu a si mesmo. Um poeta frustrado em seus sonhos, um covarde assombrado pelo medo de assumir o risco da vida. Grandes olhos negros desfilavam em sua mente. Era um homem fraco, pensava, torturando-se. Um comerciante infeliz, um poeta medíocre, um nada. Em que lugar havia perdido a si mesmo? Perguntava-se, com dor. A luz da janela o atraía, mas não conseguia mover-se. Momentos de sua vida mal vivida desfilavam em sua mente. Eram momentos de fuga, como aquele. Não conseguiu manter a atenção nos olhos do mistério. P. era um fugitivo. Não conseguia se fixar, não era capaz de comprometer-se. Precisava sair dali, urgente, mas os olhos negros o paralisavam, causando-lhe desconforto e dor.

P. estava preso ao poste, enroscando-se em torno do cimento frio. Seus olhos estavam fechados e sua cabeça pendia para trás num movimento desconexo. Ele gritava e seu corpo tremia num ato descontrolado e convulsivo.

Foi um momento difícil, como me contou mais tarde. Olhos negros, luz e sombra formavam um caleidoscópio com os fragmentos de sua vida de frustração e culpa. Até que sentiu um toque macio em suas pernas trêmulas e já quase sem forças. Era um felino de feições orientais que trazia a velha cega em sua presença. Pouco a pouco foi retomando a consciência e, nem percebeu-se sendo guiado por aquela mulher para o apartamento infestado de gatos chineses. Lá, recebeu, com tristeza, a notícia mais triste de sua vida: para sobreviver precisava matar M.

P. desesperou-se. Agora, mais lúcido, percebia que M. havia eliminado suas ilusões. A visão que teve o fez sofrer, mas restaurou-lhe a percepção de si. P. amava M.. Através dela pôde sentir o desejo de se libertar. Como poderia matá-la? Até então julgara-se possuído de um sentimento incompatível com a morte, contrário mesmo a ela.

(continua...)

Leia o texto completo.

Publicado por Esquisito às agosto 22, 2003 05:33 AM
Comentários

*** suspiro ***

Ai, vocês vão acabar tendo de publicar o Livro Esquisito :o)... as quatro histórias estão maravilhosas... leio e releio elas inteiras e não me canso.

Beijos nos três :o******************

Sue

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